[.:.InGrid's Alter Ego.:.]

last 1 week holiday have been a really great week for me, but just all of a sudden, during the weekend... just because from the way he answered me. it make me feel that I'm worthless in front of him. i was hoping he's nicer, sweeter and everything ....

But it seems like that's the hardest things for him.... is it wrong if i have higher expectation for him rather than from other people? Is it because I'm starting to compare him with other people?

Hope not! I don't like being compare to ppl, and i don't want finding myself doing something that i know ppl won't like either.

some destructive thought been wandering on my mind, it's kind of scared me... definitely scary for me... it makes me afraid that i'll lost my sanity ... trying to stay sane... try to make my logical mind keep on working.... trying to think straight!

some self destructive mind .... i habe this thought before but the urge not so strong. this time is stronger but i can fight it inside my mind.... i'm trying to tell myself that I'm in total control and in charge of my own life.... and i still love myself ....

Nothing happen in my life that worth hurting my ownself ..

Love,
Ingrid~

木乃伊 The Mummy

＊你說要我　死了這顆心
　最好永遠　存放在埃及
　像木乃伊　保持著神秘
　敲也敲不破　連世界都忘記

　你一直嘮叨著　所謂真理
　剖開了心就看到我不是她的記憶
　要我節哀　雖然她不該
　如果看不開　我怎麼活過來＊

＃愛　木乃伊的心在燒 金字塔裡悶到老
　也許我自己　太在意　被拋棄
　無法忍受　黑暗的　沉默孤寂

　木乃伊的心在跳　抱著希望慢慢熬
　我鼓起　最後的　一分力　撐下去
　相信真愛　就在我醒來的新世紀＃


Love,
ingrid~

Today is MONDAY .... like celestial movie said, it's Men-Day hahaha that mean it's a boring day! Do you guys think it's true? I don't think it's true at all .... yes on Monday usually people have more tendency to be lazy cause we have to start another week again.... start another routinity ....

So here I am today at the office, sitting in front of my computer and no work at all.... i sometimes even wondering what I'm doing in the office? I feel like i have more things to do at home rather than in here ..... I think i can spend my time to do much more meaningful things.


My mood swing or well my mood elevation is totally disastrous ... i tought i can control it, but to others i'm still that obvious. It's totally not cool at all. When you're trying to hide your sadness and when you're trying to cover up something, you've tried so hard but others still can see it obviously.

SKIP SKIP SKIP ... don't talk about my mood here ... i just don't know what I'm blabering in here, cause i just feel like talk in 'giberish' just trying to pouring out what in my 
mind and most of all updating this blog of mine!!!!!

So we watch "The Prestige" 2 days ago ... not as good as i expected it to be. but the movie lasted for 125
minutes, pretty long enough i must said ... but for those of you who
plan to watch this, i must said this movie is confusing, cause it's
moving from future to past and then to future again and it changes
rapidly... definitely not a movie for teenagers! there'a bunch of teens
who sit in front of us and they were commenting something like
"What it is all about, it's confusing and ....."

what we doing afterwards? let me think? okay so yesterday we go to
Grand Puja by Garten Rinpoche and Tenshin Rinpoche and then at night
we went to eat at Panglima Polim ... at first we were planning to eat
at Poke Sushi, but hmmm we change our mind and go to DongHaeBokJib
instead ....

Entry ... TBC

Love,
Ingrid`

Another MONDAY ... yes 1 week passed so fast ... Time flew by really fast.... it's like chasing after you but d@rn i really do feel like I'm moulding already. just because doing nothing everyday in office, made me think my brain will slowly decrease ... that's the extreme way of saying it ....

I've been sleeping like a pig this 1 week, eh no not pig, I prefer to say I sleep like a baby... it might be because of the stupid weather that totally make people weary... and the other thing is that i'm regressing, yes that's what i do when my ego threaten... i mean 1 of the way of coping ... but not the only way .... But this type of coping made me weaker, cause i'm going to feel like no energy at all ... might be like a walking corpse? nah nah but only my eyes look like Panda, it's no matter how long i sleep, i still need more and more, it's like i need to hibernate (which i prefer to do too, if only i don't have to go to work)

Been looking back to some memories that keep coming back to me constantly ....might be telling the memories to some people will make me smile and some will make me feel sad too ... but to me it's merely a memory.. something precious to me, something valuable that i treasure... sometimes i thought that if i keep memorizing this things made me sounds like i can't let go of my past... but after ddep thoughts, no it's not that i can't let it go, sometimes those past made me realize about my present life .... Made me treasure things, made me treasure my relationship with people.

I can say the memories are bitter, but still they're a part of me, that help me to grow and made me the way I am now.... no matter how bitter it is, sometimes looking back at it, made me smile, made me laugh about my silliness and made me even wonder ... sometimes i even proud of myself ... Not try to be snobbish, but sometimes i look at those people whp have similiar probs with me... and how they deal with it... it made me proud of myself ... at least i know how to stand for myself and made some decision for myself.... and i never regret those decision i made... at least till now ....

memories help you to grow, memories help you to cherish the moment you have now, memories help you not to make the same mistake ever again .... how can people live without memories at all? Look at those who suffer from amnesia.... they would do anything to bring all memories back again... but on the other hand some people trying to erase memories from their life .... in my opinion it's because they're trying to run away from reality ....

D@rn it's reallyhard to keep my eyes open... let me take a nap then

Love,
Ingrid~

It's another Monday ... it's look like i have another new habit! adding new entry every Monday morning ....

One of the most annoying thing is, my boyfriend said that my writing must be a total angst story ... don't you think it's annoying? Me writing ANGST? I once wrote an ANGST and guess what the whole forum was shock!!!! cause i always something easy reading, light things to read. It's like something comedy and comical ... but what i wrote is always related to my life or at least something that happening in my surrouding and i try to put it into 1 story....

The character in the BLOG isn't something that i made up just like that, it's through observation from my life, my surrounding and my environment.... there's so many things in life that can be written into stories and then when you read it, you;ll laughed and think is this thing really happen in real life? or you'll think, oh i know someone like this, and sometimes, d@mn this is just a classical problem we face in life....

It'slike when i watch some movie, when on the sad part, i will suddenly 
burst out laughing like someking of idiot. That made people look at me confusedly, It's not i'm heartless that i'm laughing at that part. But the part made me realize that we sometimes face that kind of things, we face same kind of problem. It's just a classical problem that people face in this world. But yet too blind to see and realize it.

Been looking for some more meaningful movie again, but the best movie i've watch this year are CLICK and THE GUARDIAN .... CLICK ... to tell the truth i only imagined it as a plain comedy movie, but yet there's so many moral message we can received. This light hearted movie is something that i will recommend 
people to watch it. i won't mind watching this movie over and over again.

Love,
Ingrid~