[.:.InGrid's Alter Ego.:.]

hi it's been a week since i update in here

Have you guys heard about the music bank incident? hmm pretty sucks isn't it but i won't said anything about it again .... having it discussed over and over again that i got sick of it ....

I'm getting busier these days ... starting to contact the subject for interview ... and trust me it's reall hard to find them sometimes ... and i just found 10 person who's willing to be interview i need 21 ... and only 2 have been interview by me ... OMG so stressing >.<

well hanging out with my friends is pretty nice and fun .... hey but i want myself a date!!!!! when will i got myself a date???? *thinkin* i should go out more often >.<

to lazy to hang out these days i prefer to stay in my room watching tv .... reading a boo ... typing in my laptop and stuff .... LOL i really need to socialize more but this weeks been tiring!

Loupe,

Ingrid~

This is after 3 weeks i neglecting my journal again!!!! Guess what??? I feel more and more tired with my life! Linkin park is right! don't you guys think so? the song that they wrote are true~ like the lyrical down here I'm tired of the way you're mocking me acted like i was part of your property and there's more lyrical that i find quite true!!!! OMG i feel like everything was against me .... what i do never turn out right lately! i do not know what to do anymore everything is so sucks ... why should everything like this!!! I hate it when i don't know what to do! I hate it when there's no one i could lean on to! I hate it when my parents look down on me I hate it even more when they compare me to my sister! Why should HATE??? that much???? I don't want that much hating!!!! I love my parents, i love my sister .. i love my family but why they're doing this to me???? They put me under a big pressure i feel like i can't even breathe anymore I don't know what should i do now .... i want to end it.... but thinking of ending my own life .... that's really ridiculous! I still have lots of things that i want to do ... i want to hve fun .... i still have tonz of things to do! and no way i'm gonna kill myself .... I don't know how to describe my feeling right now this is damn complicated now .... a lot of things upset me ... yes upsetting and yet that's the fact .... that's the reality .... What the rubbish i've been blabbering about???????? I'm just in the worst feeling these days!!!!! I want to go out for several days ... just me alone!!!!!!! I want to scream and to cry so loud .... just to make me feel more relieve ... but that's not it ... i can't cry that easily .... i hate it ... i hate that side of me .... I hate girls who can cry easily ... i don't know why .... first i thought crying is so weak ... and that make me always try to hold on my tears ... so after all these years ... i came to realize that my true reason for hating the girls are because they can showing their vulnerable side to people ... i can't!!!!! I'm so afraid .... i feel like crying is the worst thing to do! and guess what it made me feel worse when i'm sad and can't cry .... TIRED .... I want to give up on everything .... and i know that i can't!!!! I still have my dreams ... and i want to prove it to everyone who look down on me!!!! i can reach that! Loupe, Ingrid~ PS: this the worst entry ever! all fill with hatred .... but that's me right now