28th December 2006 ….
It’s 3 days after Christmas, time flew by really fast. Year 2006 almost end in just a few days. What have I achieved this year? I made new year resolution every year, hoping that in the newer year I can develop my potential, upgrade my attitude and etc.
Let’s do some flashback in this year 2006. A lot of things happened in my life, they happened for a reason. I feel this 2006 give me a lot of good and bad memories. All of them help me to grow up, they teach me a lot of things.
I have graduated from my bachelor degree this year. That’s one of my wish for this year --- hoping to achieve, to graduate this year. I can’t say that I graduated easily. There’s a lot of up and down in the process. I met some difficulty along the way. These obstacles made me realize some other things that I have never realize in my life either. I almost give up on myself during this process, I feel like I’m so useless, that I will never be able to graduate from this undergraduate program. But during that low peak of my life, someone bashed me, saying something bad about me, as if I’m worthless and some kind of moron. But thanks to this stupid uneducated person who make me feel down at the first and made me feel challenged at the end. The way he bashed me in front of others, made me realize that I’m more than that, made me realize about my self-worth. Make me want to prove it in front of him that he’s the one that worthless. Luckily I made it, I graduate without his help at all. I must say I’m proud of myself. Working on my project in just 2 weeks, and without any feedback from him I can graduate. I’m not so proud of the results but I also proud of it. What a paradox right? I’m proud cause I made it without any feedback and in 2 weeks. I feel not proud cause I know I can do it better if I have more time and more guidance. But well I already graduated!
I lost someone I love the most this year, my grandma. She’s been showing a lot of sign to us, but we’re too ignorant to realize it. I think we’re not ignorant, but we’re denying the fact. With the lost of granny made me realize a lot of things too. Nothing in this world is eternal. Nothing! Not a thing! She made us realize how short and valuable the time that we have. She made us realize to cherish every moment that we share with the person we truly love and care. I have several regrets. I rarely spent time with granny in her last time. It’s not because I don’t care for her anymore, but it’s because I hate the surrounding. I always go to meet granny when I’m in a bad shape, need someone to rely on and everything. I thought just giving her what she want, buying her some food she wants will be enough. But this great loss made me realize that all of those not enough at all. The most important thing is to spend time with her, which I rarely do in 2006. I’m too busy with my life, too busy with my new friends, too busy socializing and everything. Another thing that I regret is that I’ve never have a change to treat her eat sushi again. I thought about treat her with my first salary. But cause I thought there’s still a lot of time, and planned to go next week (from the day that she left us). I guess regret always came late. I just wanted to cherish every moment I have with person I love from now on.
I’ve been wanted to meet that someone special, and this year I have found him. He’s not that perfect, he’s not that gorgeous. But he’s just simply him, with his own unique style. He attracted me in his own simple way. Thing not going on that smooth of course, there’s up and down, there’s sweet and bitter moment for everyone. But we will overcome it together… just keep telling myself that communication is the most important key. Try to communicate everything with calmness, don’t ever let anger overtake your brain.
Finding myself a boyfriend suddenly made me like a love doctor? I don’t know but it does look like that. Suddenly they thought that I’m a love expert. Ask me about their relationship problems. I’ve been wondering then people start asking me for their problem in life. What they should do about it. Is it because they trust me for who I am, as their friends or they just seeing me as a person who have a bachelor degree in psychology? This is one of the things that I never know until now. Wanted to ask them about it though, but sometimes things best left unknown.
I have a job in some company, I think it’s a really nice one until lately I realize this job isn’t for me. I hate my job. I hate them! How inconsistent they are, how annoying they can be. Acted like the employees are just nothing but their puppet. I see how cruel this society are, this is nothing compared those who works in more bigger scope company. More job pressure, I can say that the job pressure right now isn’t significant. It’s just the people who annoyed me. It’s really not fun working under people who have such a barbarian culture. I completely understand why my sister told me not to work at Asian company. At least at those Western company, they’ll appreciate everything that you do. I’m not asking for a reward or an award. But a small appreciation really will do a big difference. People who feel their worked being appreciated will work extra hard. On the contrary, if people don’t appreciate your work, what do you think? Do you want to continue doing it? I don’t think so. It was like discouraging people.
Maybe it’s time for me to move on to another job. They’ve been acting and emphasizing about how inexperienced I am. So I think I have to tell them right on their faces, that I got other jobs offered, not in small company but big one like Century and that Shoes factory (Adidas, Nike, etc) so they’ll know without them I still exist.
I’m not asking for anything that out of reach. I’m just hoping that they have clear job description, so that I can know what I should do. Not throwing me from here to that and blaming me for things that I don’t know. I’m getting sick of these already. I want a work that can help me develop and grow. Not a work who made me become so dull and boring.
What have I done again in this year? Let me think hard, I think I’ve grown up a little bit. Sometimes I can be a spoiled little girl. But I can be mature at certain time when it’s needed. But being a little girl is more exciting. I wish I can be a baby or a little girl for most of the time. Nah I don’t think so, every life stage have their own stressful things. That’s life phase … we have to face it!
This year is the year where I watch in the cinema the most! Definitely true! So I think it’s some kind of achievement too. Sounds funny right? I finally found a person who share the same interest in watching movie! And that person is no other than my lovely boyfriend. So both of us been like crazily hunting over cinema. We watched almost all the movie in cinema. I said almost not ALL. Forgive my crazy way in explaining things.
For those people who knew me long and well enough will see a lot of differences in me, they thought that I am more lady like. I think the word lady is too strong! I think more like a girl will suits me well. I’ve been a tomboyish girl for my whole life. But I become more feminine, which make people all shock. Some of them even tease me with it. They said never ever underestimate the power of love and the impact it’ll done on a girl. Sometime it cracked me up.
Oh yeah I also lost a lot of weight, at last I’m not that fat chubby girl anymore. I can even share clothes with my mom now. Remembering those times when my mom and sister wore small size and I have to wear large or sometimes extra large. Being fat was never a problem for me. But I want to slim down though. So thanks for that annoying person who make my life miserable for my last project of graduation. Because of those stressed and living hell that I’ve been through, it made me slim down without even realizing it at all.
A lot of people asked me about how do I lost that much weight without any diet supplement. I just told them go to college or univ, suffered from those stressful moment on last project. But there’s only 2 possibility, you’ll become fatter or you’ll become slimmer. I used to indulge myself with food when I’m under a lot of stressed. But luckily it worked the different way this time. I can’t imagine myself getting puffier.
[TBC]
Love,
Ingrid~
Currently feeling: SaD
